Thanksgiving is Not a Meal

Anyone who spends any amount of time on Facebook surely has seen the running seasonal commentary about all things Thanksgiving. This year the chorus of laments for stores opening on this "sacred" day reserved for giving thanks is loud and righteous. I have seen post after post about THE meal. I have seen efforts to proclaim to all the things one should be thankful for. Endless debates on stuffing vs. dressing and whether or not to put marshmallows on the sweet potato casserole have made me a weary cynic.

To be fair, I have never been a fan of the Thanksgiving meal. The preparation for the meal alone is enough to turn me off. Days of shopping in crowded supermarkets fighting for the last few cans of cranberry sauce and figuring out how to make the large 20 pound frozen behemoth into something slightly more edible than sawdust can make for a cranky cook.  There are the seemingly endless return trips to the store for more butter and eggs and Aunt Sally's gluten free, low salt, no fat, organic, free range culinary requirements. And the cook never gets to see the Macy's Parade. She is too busy making sure the gravy is lump-less and gibletted (ugh) and the rolls are not burning.

All of this frenetic preparation for a twenty minute meal. And sometimes you have to share said meal with family members you are quite sure would be helpful in a lengthy anthropological study, but with whom sharing a meal is less than inspiring.  And then there are the hours of clean-up. I have washed and dried utensils I do not recognise. Some genius invented a pickled peach fork and asparagus tongs and individual butter spreaders which of course must be used for Thanksgiving! And would someone please tell me why there is always one family member whose bodily functions decide to function during the dishwashing? Sigh.

 I am thankful. This year, I am thankful I can be thankful without the production of an artery-clogging indigestion-induced post turkey coma.  I am thankful for my fellow nurses who end up attending to many of those affected by over-indulgence. I am thankful I do not have to join them in caring for the Uncle Joe's of the world who have decided Thanksgiving is the gastronomic equivalent of the Olympic games. I have much to reflect upon and to be ever so grateful.

I am thankful that the Native Americans showed genuine hospitality and compassion for the freezing and starving Pilgrims. The Native Americans showed the Europeans how to survive in the strange new world they found themselves in. We haven't exactly shown our thanks to our indigenous peoples, though. I would like us as a nation to be more thankful starting by not using caricatured images of "savages" that depict the stereotypical "Indians" of B-Westerns. They deserve better from a nation who stole their land, and decimated their peoples.

I am thankful for the food we have available in abundance; even that tired dry turkey I detest so.  I wish I could be thankful for the end of hunger worldwide. It is hard for me to justify a gorge-fest when so many have so little. I am thankful for food banks and the tireless volunteers staffing them who give their time so others can have the basic foodstuffs we all take for granted.

I am thankful for shelter and warmth and clean water. I hope soon to be thankful that every single person affected by the recent typhoon will have a safe, dry place to live. That their physical wounds would be healed, and they find comfort. I hope to be thankful one day that every child on this great grand earth will know the joy of tasting clean cool water.

I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for the technology that allows me to talk with them as often as I want or need with ease. I am grateful they have jobs, and homes, and families of their own. I am thankful they love me. I am thankful I do not have to fear for their safety. I hope one day we find ourselves a grateful world thankful that all wars have ceased and all families are united and not torn apart by oppression and terror.

This thanks of mine goes beyond the dinner hour. It lasts well into the wee hours of Black Friday and is there for Cyber Monday. My thanksgiving surpasses any appreciation of pecan pie or green bean casserole or pilgrim hats or jellied salads. Thanksgiving is not a meal. Or a day. Thanksgiving is a realisation of just how lucky we are. And a willingness to see that others have just as much.

Oh I am sure there will be a twinge or two of sentimental longing for the Norman Rockwell inspired gathering at the groaning board. I will salivate briefly thinking of Gran's Lane Cake I will not enjoy this year. As much as I do not like the actual foul,..ahem, fowl star of the repast, I will miss for just a moment waking up to the smell of its skin crackling under the oven's heat. I will miss watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with my girls and my sister as we  cheer on the marching bands and pan the awful attempts at lip syncing by this year's stars. For just a moment. And then I will realise it is the people at the table I miss. It is the memories of my lifetime in each carefully prepared dish that I won't be tasting. And for a moment I will be swept away in a kind of sadness. Until I remember I don't have dish duty this year.