Milk, Bread and Batteries

The BBC has issued an severe warning for the storm of the decade, century or month, depending on the expert interviewed. This storm is to pummel most of England and Wales with sustained winds of over 40 mph and gusts to over 80 mph. Fun times, fun times. I, being a child of the Southeastern United States, did what one does when such a warning is issued. I headed to the nearest grocery store and purchased bread, milk and batteries.

Why bread, milk and batteries you ask? The same reason I wear white only between  Easter and Labor Day. It's a rule.  Where I come from bread, milk and batteries are the staple goods one has for ice and snow storms and hurricanes. With the mere mention of a storm approaching, hoards of disaster-ready folks pour into every Wal-Mart, Costco, and grocery store available and reduce the stocks of said items to a single pint of nearly expired buttermilk,  a mangled and mashed sack of  pita bread and endless packs of hearing aid batteries as if some weird version of a medieval plague had swept through the store.

Folks are not as easily rattled here. Milk and bread were available in abundance at our store. I was able to purchase batteries with ease. There was no panic; no alarm. Several folks reminded us to tie down our wheelie bins (garbage cans y'all) in preparation for the storm. Period.  In fact, until this morning, on the news broadcasts people were encouraged to check the on-line details for the upcoming storm. No throngs of rain-jacketed weather correspondents showing footage of leaves blowing or light poles swaying. Calmly, and with same enthusiasm one might say...read a phone book out loud, the anchors simply said we are to have hurricane force winds and to be prepared because it could be severe. That is it.

And prepared I am. I have the aforementioned bread, milk and batteries. I have peanut butter. I have a gas stove and a fireplace.  I even have matches to light them. My computer and phone are charged and ready. I have noted the emergency response numbers. I have a stack of books to read. I have planned a long nap. The wheelie bins have been anchored. I have a three month supply of Jaffa Cakes and digestives. I am ready. I figured this town has survived Norman conquests and Bloody Mary and the Great War and the economic crash. My house has lived through more storms than Jim Cantore.

And speaking of Jim Cantore, without him, how will I really know how bad this storm is?